Fragments of Memories
by Pervy Bunny
Summary: Sequel to my other fic. Squall and Seifer get kicked out of Balamb Garden and bum around. Pointlessness and yaoi galore!
1. Fragments of Memories

Fragments of Memories  
  
Chapter 1 Balamb Garden  
  
I finally did get to class after the little incident in Seifer's room. He let me borrow one of his spare uniforms until I could find the bastard who took mine and walked me to class, since he had a class in the room next to Ms. Habecker's anyways. I felt a little awkward the way he had his arm around my waist, but that was alright I guess since the whole damn hallway was empty.  
Then I walked into class and the shit hit the fan. I already told you what a bitch Ms. Habecker was. She really, really hated me, too. I think she hated quiet kids, ironically enough. Anyways, I walked in and there she was with a video camera, filming Mary Sue doing a soliloquy from "Romeo and Juliet." Why the hell a bunch of future SeeDs needed to know about Renaissance literature was beyond me, but English was a required class.  
So anyways, that phony was standing there recording Mary Sue's mid- term project for advertisement opportunities. Like we performed Shakespeare every day or something. Actually, all we did most of the time was listen to her rant on and on about five-paragraph essays in her nasally voice and write down about fifty pages of notes off of what she wrote on the board. Plus, she had eyes in the back of her head or something. She told us one time that we couldn't do anything without her noticing. That killed me. She actually arranged the room so that there was no back row, and that totally sucked for me. I'm one of the types that depends on hiding out in the back row.  
So there I was, forty minutes late for class and interrupting Mary Sue's dramatic scene. So did Ms. Habecker let her finish her act and keep recording like nothing had happened? No! She aimed her shitty 80's camera right at my face and started yelling at me about being late for class. "Mr. Leonheart! Where were you?" She yelled in her nasally voice. "You're forty minutes late- and do you have your final project ready to present? You already have twenty points deducted for not having it yesterday!"  
The fucking camera was still on. I was pretty sure she would edit this out before she made her stupid advertisement tape for open house, but it was still embarrassing as hell. Ok, not as bad as what I had been through earlier, but still pretty bad. Of course I didn't have my stupid final project done. I had another project due for Ms. Trepe's class, and I figured that GFs were much more important than memorizing some stupid soliloquy and a big phony presentation in front of the class. I hate performing. I even hate talking in front of a group. In fact, I don't like too many people anyways. So no, I didn't have my stupid soliloquy memorized, and the thought of blathering on and on about Queen Mab seemed pretty horrifying- again, not as bad as walking through school naked, but still pretty bad.  
"Um... no." I must have looked really dopey on that tape. That was a depressing thought. She probably thought she could be a real smart-ass by sending this to my parents. Of course the joke was on her, since I have no parents. At times like this, I was pretty glad that I didn't. I guess I was sort of weird like that. She continued to bitch while Mary Sue sat there in her Italian Renaissance dress (where the hell did she find that anyways?) and waited patiently to get back to her little performance. I finally got smart with Ms. Habecker and yelled out, "Will you just piss off already? I had, like, five other projects due this week for legitimate classes, plus I had a big-ass test earlier, and I'm having a really bad day so will you just shut your fuck hole?"  
She looked pretty indignant, I think, but it was hard to tell from behind her damn NES-era video camera. "Don't make his any worse than it already is!" Blah blah blah, I thought. Then- CRAP! I knew what was coming next. She gave me a month of detention for being late and back talking like that, and seemed pretty pleased with herself as she finally demanded that I sit down. I slammed my books down on the desk, sat down and put my head down on the desk, trying to hide a little. She really thrived on making me feel awkward I think.  
"Start over again, please, Mary Sue."  
I took a ten-minute nap while Mary Sue repeated her whole damn soliloquy and pretended to poison herself. I'm sure it would have been very dramatic and convincing if I'd been watching, but I was too busy sleeping. It was kinda surprising how screwing around with Seifer wore me out like that. It would have been better if the two of us had laid there in his room and smoked a few cigarettes, but I didn't want to post-pone getting to class any more for obvious reasons.  
So anyways, the next thing I knew, everyone was clapping loudly and cheering. I must have snored or something, because Ms. Habecker suddenly hit me over the head with a text book. So that's why they make those things so heavy. Except I don't think she was actually allowed to do that... Anyways, I didn't give her the satisfaction of hearing me scream or anything. I just sat up and acted like nothing had happened.  
"You're next," she said.  
I groaned. "Are you sure? Can I pass... again?"  
"You're the last one who hasn't gone. Do it now or you fail this quarter."  
I really didn't give a shit, since I was passing all the other classes with flying colors. But of course I didn't want to take any chances, since my life sort of depended on staying in Balamb Garden. So I dragged myself out of the desk, pushing the chair back several feet before standing up. I walked up to the front of the room and leaned back against the black board, thinking that making someone like me do a Mercutio impression in front of thirty people was cruel and unusual punishment. I was probably the worst actor ever to walk into that English class. Not only was I leaning up against the wall with my arms crossed in front of me, glowering at the whole class, but I had no idea what half the lines were.  
"Queen Mab... is, um..." I said quietly, trying to ignore all the people who were looking at me, especially Ms. Habecker with her big stupid camera. She couldn't even hold that thing steady and apparently didn't have a tripod, so it was moving around in little circles sort of. I got distracted staring at the lens moving around while I tried to remember that stupid speech. Suddenly I heard that ditz Nicole yell out, "Take your clothes off!"  
"Yeah, I wanna see your winky!" her best friend Heidi added. Everyone started laughing. That killed me.  
"Shut up! I'm performing Shakespeare here!" I said, louder than I had delivered any of my stupid monologue. They laughed more. "Heh, there you go, best comic relief ever to appear in a play, acted superbly by Squall Leonheart, thanks for watching!" I said and walked back to my seat. The class erupted into applause and actually gave me a standing ovation for that. I suppose I did the most original monologue, even if I did suck at speaking in front of a class. Finally, it was over. Besides all the detentions, skipping English class was a good idea.  
"I'll see you at 1600," Ms. Habecker said as I was leaving the room. She really gloated every time I screwed up. Like I said before, she hated me. There's probably a reason, too, but none of the other instructors could figure it out, since they never saw the side of me that she did. Seifer was waiting for me outside the door. I wasn't quite sure what to say to him. I mean, what can you say to a rival-turned-lover that you've just lost your virginity with?  
"Hey," I said shyly.  
"That went pretty well," Seifer said.  
"What did?"  
"I faked an injury and had Dr. Kadawaki write an excuse for me. Pretty clever, huh?"  
"Yeah, whatever..." I said, walking away from him. I hadn't even bothered to look up at him while we were talking. Of course he couldn't have suggested that little trick to me. No, he just left me in his stupid room. I guess letting me borrow his clothes was supposed to make up for making me extremely late for the worst class in the world. I started wondering again why I would ever need to write a 5-paragraph essay on a novel once I made it into SeeD. Seifer stepped in front of me when I tried to walk away.  
"I forgot, I was going to suggest you do the same thing."  
"Well you should have remembered that BEFORE that bitch gave me detention for a month!" I yelled like it was his fault. I felt like killing something. Maybe I would use the break period that was coming up to go kill a few monsters in the training center. Except thanks to Ms. Habecker, I only had a ten minute break now, then I had to head back to her room. She would probably dominate my entire evening now.  
"Hey, at least she didn't see you walking around naked," Seifer said. I couldn't tell if he was really trying to be positive or if he was just obsessing over that little incident. Of course he wasn't the only one who was obsessing. I saw that dumb broad who stole my towel waving it around and loudly telling everyone what had happened while waving it around. As Nicole and Heidi were walking out of the room, Nicole walked a little too close and "accidentally" put her hand on my ass. Those two were way too oversexed, seriously. They couldn't just be subtle. No, they stood there trying to stick their hands down my pants while I was talking to Seifer. I finally glared at them and they ran off like scared little forest elves.  
Seifer tried to make things better by suggesting that we go get drinks together.  
I looked at my watch and said, "Nah... I have to be back in her room in about seven minutes anyways."  
"That's alright," he said, "We can just talk here."  
We leaned up against the wall next to each other and didn't say anything for a minute. I still couldn't think of anything to say.  
"So... uh... did you have a good time earlier?"  
"Yeah. I guess... it doesn't really matter what else happened today. That was... really great." He uncrossed him arms and stood in front of me, but I still was looking at the floor. He placed a couple of fingers under my chin and made me look back at him. I wished he hadn't done that, since he saw a few tears running down my cheeks. Normally I don't get too emotional, and when I do, I don't let anyone know about it. But I was just so damn upset at the moment. The whole day had gone completely berserk, and it wasn't even my fault. It was funny when I looked back on it, but then I didn't see any humor in it at all.  
Seifer put his arms around my waist and pulled me closer to him.  
"Don't..." I said, "I don't want anyone to think that we're going out or something..."  
"But I thought we were."  
"I don't want anyone to know," I said, pushing him away even though it felt better to have him hold me like that. I shoved him away forcefully and went back to staring at the floor. I looked at my watch again, and it was already 1600. "I gotta go..." I said, walking back towards the room.  
"Wait-" he said, "Where should I wait for you later?"  
"I dunno... my room I guess."  
"What will your room mate think?"  
"Never mind... you pick a place."  
"How about if I wait for you at the quad?"  
"Fine, but be ready for a long wait," I said, walking back into Ms. Habecker's room. Guess I didn't really escape those forty minutes in there. In fact, I was there two extra hours. Seifer had no idea why I was so depressed, since he hadn't had her for a teacher. He had no idea what it was like to spend two freakin' hours cleaning for a fat, middle-aged bitch with a loud, nasally voice. I was pretty sure she invented crap for me to do just to be obnoxious, like rearranging all the desks so that they faced the other side of the room. She had the corniest damn room, I swear. She actually covered up the windows in her room because they were "distracting" and had black boards on every side of the room. So it was real convenient to have me rearrange the desks so that they were in the exact same position, but facing the other wall. It actually wasn't that bad except for moving her big-ass desk from one end of the room to the other with her yelling at me not to mess up her papers. She got a real kick out of inventing crap for me to do. It was sort of the same mentality behind assigning the corniest damn essays to write all the time.  
Well anyways, there I was scrubbing her stupid damn floor (she just had to have white linoleum, of course...) when I heard the dinging noise that the intercom always makes. I figured it was nothing until I heard them say, "...And will Squall Leonheart please report to the headmaster's office."  
"Well, I'm outta here," I said, throwing the sponge down and walking out. She couldn't really object, even though half of her floor was sparkling and the other half was sort of a brownish color. Pretty unappealing. She didn't say anything though, since being called to the headmaster's office was pretty important and she knew damn well she had gone over time with this detention thing anyways. So I sort of got off easy, considering it was Ms. Habecker and all, but then I got extremely nervous, because I knew this couldn't possibly be good. In fact, when the elevator started moving upward I just about tossed. I walked into his office feeling sick, but tried not to show it. I was holding my stomach on the way there, but then I stood up straight and tried to look calm. Much to my shock... Headmaster Cid wasn't there! Instead there was a really freaky looking guy with a bad toupee and a look on his face like there was nothing upstairs. That's when I remembered that Cid was in Galbadia on some sort of business trip and he had left some goof named Mr. Pfeiffer in charge while he was gone.  
"Mr. Leonheart?" He said, looking up from some sort of religious tract he was reading and giving me a weird smile.  
"Yes, sir?" I said, sounding pretty confident. "You called for me?"  
"Yes, I wanted to inform you..." He opened a drawer of Cid's desk, looking for some paper. I felt the butterflies in my stomach again. He pulled out a heavy sheet of paper and looked at it.  
"Inform me that...?"  
"You were on the high honor roll for first quarter. Apparently you weren't at the award ceremony, and Cid reminded me to give this to you. Congratulations!"  
That's right, I skipped that ceremony because Zell talked me into hanging out at his house that evening. We both figured we hadn't won anything anyways. Anyways, I was so sure that I was about to get expelled for running around naked and threatening girls with my gunblade that I was ready to jump up and down with joy when it turned out that he actually had good news. The only reason why I didn't was that, well, I'm a freakin' cadet, not a little girl! So anyways, moments like this made me wish my parents were still alive. Just when the whole universe was in perfect balance, in rushed Seifer, slamming the door open and running in out of breath. He ran up to Cid's desk, slammed his hands down and made the papers flutter all over the floor. Mr. Pfeiffer backed away slightly.  
"Sir, I can explain everything! You can't kick Squall out of school!" He yelled, panting.  
"Seifer, shut up!" I yelled.  
"I'm the reason he ran through school naked and attacked that girl with his gunblade!" Seifer continued. "It was a dare- it was all a game- and I stole his clothes! If you're going to punish anyone, punish me!"  
"SHUT UP! EVERYTHING'S FINE!" I yelled.  
"What is this boy blathering about?" Mr. Pfeiffer said, adjusting his god-awful toupee.  
"NOTHING!" I yelled.  
"It's the truth! You can't expel him!" Seifer yelled. "He's one of the only gunblade users! He- um... doesn't normally do stuff like that! He just wanted to... I told him I'd get him a date for the winter formal if he did that! Yeah, that's the ticket."  
"Seifer, you moron, I don't want to go to the damn formal! I hate dancing!"  
Seifer was still pushing on the desk so hard that it was at a diagonal. I knew that if what I had actually done didn't get me expelled, his crazy fit would.  
"SHUT UP! BOTH OF YOU!" Mr. Pfeiffer yelled, standing up and pushing the desk back into position. His toupee fell off again. "Now, I'm sure we can find a solution to this in the Bible."  
"Huh?" Seifer and I looked at each other, very confused, as he read some random page of the Bible for ten minutes. Finally I got bored and started to walk away. "Come on, Seifer," I said. "Let's go back to my room." I winked at him, feeling a little sexy. Mr. Pfeiffer looked up from the Bible just as I did that.  
"What are you suggesting?" Mr. Pfeiffer said. "You know, the Bible condemns homosexuality!"  
"Hey, that's cool, I... uh... have a girlfriend, too..." I lied, dropping my flirtatious look. Seifer's jaw dropped.  
"Squall! You cheating bastard!" He yelled and threw a chair at me. I ducked as Cid's favorite chair smashed against the wall.  
"SHUT UP! Bad enough you told him I walked around naked!" I said, punching Seifer square in the face. He backed away, blood streaming out of his nose. He hit me back, knocking me into the desk. I grabbed a stapler and shot a few staples at him, then decided that the scissors were a better bet. But before I could impale him on the scissors, he picked up the whole damn file cabinet and hit me over the head with it. I fell onto the floor, clutching my head and screaming. Just as quickly as he had started the fight, he dropped the file cabinet, ran to my side and yelled, "Squall! Are you alright?"  
"Get out of here!" Mr. Pfeiffer yelled.  
"Fine!" Seifer shouted back, gently helping me up.  
"You have twenty-four hours to gather up your things and get out!" he added.  
"Wha..."  
"That's right, you're both expelled!"  
I didn't scream or anything. I just collapsed more in Seifer's arms. I heard him yelling for me to wake up, the phony, after he had caused this. I must have looked damn stupid going limp in his arms like that and having to be carried all the way to the infirmary. As if people weren't already starting to suspect that there was something between us.  
  
Chapter 2 Never Look Back  
  
I woke up several hours later alone in the infirmary. It was already dark by that time. I just lay in bed thinking for a while, since that's what I do when there's nothing else to do. I didn't particularly want to think though. I couldn't believe Seifer had just made me get kicked out of school. It wasn't just that though. See, if I were a normal kid with a normal family, it wouldn't be so big of a deal. So maybe Seifer would have ruined my chances of becoming a SeeD and pretty much destroyed my military career, but my parents would have figured out something else. If nothing else, I could mooch off of them for a while. But no, I didn't have anyone. Not since I lost Sis. So I was screwed, figuratively speaking. In fact, we both were. I wished to hell that Cid had been there instead of that damn substitute, since he understood us a little bit more. Ok, so he probably would not have put up with that little brawl in his office. But he would've ignored Seifer when he came dashing in like that since he already knew Seifer could really shoot the bull. Boy, could he ever come up with bull shit. He could go on for hours- literally- hours with crap he made up as he went along. So as long as Cid didn't hear any more about that incident, I would have gotten off fine. But now thanks to the phony and the asshole, I was gonna be out on the streets in twenty-four hours. Sure, I had enough dough to get by for a while. I could stay at a hotel until I figured out something else to do. But survival wasn't exactly the issue. The issue was that he had just destroyed my potential career as a SeeD. I felt like killing Seifer when I saw him walking into the room. The only problem was that I still felt too wasted to even sit up.  
"Go away!" I muttered, burying my face in the pillow. I didn't want him to see me crying yet again. But I knew he wasn't walking away. Something just told me he was still there even before he came over and sat on the bed. He started stroking my hair very, very slowly.  
"I'm sorry..." he said in a tone I had never, ever heard him use before. It was so much more quiet and sincere than the Seifer I was used to. "This is all my fault."  
"Yeah, asshole, watch where you're aiming the damn file cabinet next time!" I yelled back at him between sobs. He kept stroking my hair, but I wasn't going to let him get close again like he had earlier.  
"I was trying to help- oh, and by the way, Zell gave me back the clothes he borrowed."  
"WHAT?" I yelled, jolting up suddenly. "He's the fucker that stole my clothes?"  
"I guess so."  
"I'm gonna kick his ass all the way to-"  
Seifer pushed me back down onto the bed. "Don't do anything. We're already in enough trouble."  
"That's an understatement!"  
"Hey, I packed your stuff for you while you were knocked out at least!"  
I knew that he was making a pathetic attempt to cheer me up, but that really didn't help. He wondered what the hell was wrong when I groaned and buried my face in the pillow again.  
"Squall... Come on, I'll help you back to your room, alright?" He said. I sort of expected him to just help me stand up, but instead he picked me up and started carrying me back to the dorms.  
"Put me down... I don't want anyone to see us!" I said, struggling to get away.  
"No one's around, don't worry." We didn't say anything more as he carried me all the way back to the room. Sure enough, he had packed all my things for me. There were just two suitcases, since I didn't have much anyways. Everything was packed away, even my gunblade.  
"You idiot, how am I supposed to change into my pajamas if you already packed them?" I said as he was setting me down on the bed.  
"Why don't you sleep without them?" he said, throwing his jacket onto my floor. I had the feeling he was all packed, too, and planned to spend his last night at Balamb Garden in my room.  
"Because my room mate is a complete jerk!" I exclaimed. We didn't literally share a room; we actually had two small bed rooms attached to a common room. The bed rooms were almost the size of a walk-in closet though, and there wasn't much privacy despite the flimsy wall dividing the two bed rooms.  
I figured I probably had the biggest, stupidest, ugliest room mate in all of Balamb Garden. In fact, I knew that I did because everyone told me so. The only reason that bastard stayed here was because his stupid rich parents kept paying Cid so much to keep him here. Everyone called my room mate "ugly kid" besides his little clique, but actually his name was Jason Berkan. The one good thing about getting expelled was that I wouldn't have to share a room with him any more, and if I ever got back in somehow, I would get a new room mate. Even an obnoxious girl would be better than him. There was a reason why everyone called him ugly kid, besides just the fact that he was ugly. And of course as soon as I said he was a jerk, he waltzed right on in and stared at me and Seifer. He got that stupid, ugly look on his face that he always got when he was surprised. His eyes sort of bulged out and he looked like he was truly shocked and offended.  
"WA-OW!" he yelled. He sounded kind of like a monkey.  
"Fuck off!" Seifer yelled. Ah, good old Seifer, always good for telling your obnoxious room mate to fuck off. Of course Ugly Kid never listened when people told him to shut up. Instead he plopped his ass right down on the desk and made himself at home.  
"My Gods, would it kill you to take a shower for once?" Seifer yelled.  
"So... uh, whatcha' doin', going away for winter break? Thought you had nowhere to go, Squall."  
"None of your business."  
"Lover-boy gonna take you on a cruise around Centra? Huh?" He started picking at his zits. He always did that. It was truly disgusting.  
"Ug- I mean, Jason, get the fuck out of my room!" I yelled. He continued to sit there looking disgusting. It was sort of amazing though: the longer he sat there, the more Seifer looked like a sex god. I mean, ever since earlier that day Seifer had looked like a sex god. But now he really looked hot.  
Ok, don't get me wrong here. I'm not a total queer or anything. I kind of swing both ways though, and Seifer just happened to be a guy. So deal with it. At the time, I actually thought I was in love with him. Actually, I was in love with him. I didn't know what a phony he would turn out to be. So finally Seifer just glared at Ugly Kid, as if defying him to sit there on the desk picking at the hundreds of zits on his ugly face.  
"So are you guys, like, going out or something? 'Cuz I heard Mary Sue was eyeing you earlier. She's the most popular girl in school, you know."  
"I don't care!" I couldn't stand Mary Sue. She was so damn cocky and phony. I glared at Ugly Kid while he went on and on about all the girls who wanted to go to the formal with me, and I really couldn't have cared less. Sure, some of them were cute, but they didn't turn me on like Seifer did. Seifer finally got rid of Ugly Kid by swinging one of my suitcases at him and making him leave. I'm sure there are probably more reasonable ways to get rid of obnoxious drop-ins, but that seemed like the most effective way.  
So there me and Seifer were, finally alone. I took his suggestion and threw my clothes onto a chair, climbing into bed completely nude. He did the same, snuggling up next to me. Need I say more? I don't think I've had that much fun since that night.  
The next morning we were out of there first thing. I was sort of sleepy still when he dragged me out of bed. It was sort of sweet of him to carry all my stuff for me because I was so tired. I sort of felt like crying as I walked out with him, but I didn't. I had pretty much gotten everything out the night before. There was no time to be emotional now; I had to be reasonable and think about what to do, since thinking wasn't exactly Seifer's area.  
  
Chapter 3 Drifting  
  
We walked the whole damn way to Balamb city since neither of us had a car. But that was alright; walking sort of woke me up. And Seifer was still carrying my bags for me to make up for knocking me out the day before. He acted like he was really worried about me or something. In fact, he actually offered to pay for the hotel room completely while we were checking in. It was the cheapest, crappiest hotel in Balamb, but I told him I'd split the cost anyways. It was the type of hotel where you saw hookers walking around and a lot of weirdoes. Yep, getting kicked out of the Garden sucked more than anything had ever sucked before. Well maybe not as much as I sucked Seifer's- never mind. I'm not going to go into detail, since I know most of you fan girls can picture what I'm talking about anyways. And yes, it was big. Very big.  
Back to the hotel. It was real crappy, but I still didn't feel right having him pay for it when I had more dough than him. So we split the cost. We split the cost for everything that day, even though he repeatedly offered to treat me. Well anyways, we were both pretty bad at thinking up places to go. No, can that. Seifer sucked at thinking of places to go. I was just indifferent. So he had this bright idea that we could drop in on Zell's mom, since he was sort of Zell's buddy (yeah right), and instead of going to a restaurant for breakfast, we could raid her refrigerator. While we were at it, we should have just asked to stay in Zell's room and watch their TV too, but we were already checked into the stupid hotel.  
I couldn't believe it. It actually worked. He actually walked right into Zell's house and said, "Hi, Zell's Mom! We were just out Christmas shopping and decided to drop by and say hi!" in a disturbingly cheerful tone. She actually bought it, too. That killed me. She was actually in the middle of having a soap-opera marathon with a few other friends when we walked in like that. Ok, if I ever become a stay-at-home mom who watches four straight hours of soap operas with other middle-aged chicks and probably goes to Tupperware conventions, I want someone to kill me in the most gruesome way possible. I hate soap operas. All that love and drama and crap. There's one type of love I like, and that's hot, dirty sex. But I suppose that's lust, not love. Anyways, I can't even begin to go into how much I hate soap operas with the phony stories and even phonier actors. I can sum it up with four words: I. Hate. Soap. Operas. But these five middle-aged chicks were in there with the TV full blast, and if it weren't a commercial break, she probably wouldn't even have noticed us barging in like that. But since they were advertising soap (ha ha ha), she yelled from the living room, "Oh, HI! Help yourself to some snacks!"  
That was way too easy. So anyways, Seifer and I decided to have breakfast upstairs so we wouldn't have to listen to that stupid TV. We just grabbed three boxes of cereal and a carton of milk. We weren't intelligent enough to remember the freakin' utensils and dishes I guess. We also were too stupid to realize that it wasn't actually breakfast time any more, since we had spent most of the morning walking. So we didn't have that good of a breakfast. We sat on Zell's bed and I immediately started pulling out the marshmallows in the box of Lucky Charms. I always wanted a chance to do that, so I ate most of the marshmallows in that box before actually having any cereal. Like I mentioned already, we forgot about dishes and crap, so we ate it dry, right out of the box. We also took turns drinking straight out of the milk carton. It would have offended a lot of people to see us eating like pigs, but I didn't give a shit. I liked the chance to be laid-back for once. Let's face it; when you're a cadet in Balamb Garden, you can't just wander into the kitchen and start pigging out like that and not using utensils. Not that it's overly formal or anything, it's just that if everyone in the Garden wanted to eat like Seifer and I did that morning, it would be chaos. Besides, Garden wasn't anything like a real home anyways. And there was no way we could be that informal. So this was my first chance to be a total slob in a few years.  
Anyways, it all went real well until Seifer starting hogging the milk carton. I told him to give it to me, but he didn't. So I tried to grab it from him, but ended up spilling it all over the bed. It soaked right into Seifer's cute little chocobo bed spread while Seifer and I jumped off the bed so that it wouldn't soak into our clothes, too. In the process, we tipped the cereal boxes over. Yep, that proved it: we had eaten every last marshmallow.  
"Damn, that's gonna stink!" Seifer said, staring at the mess we had made.  
"Ah, well, no sense crying over spilled milk. Let's go," I said. I figured it was my way of paying Zell back for stealing my clothes and ruining my life indirectly.  
"Yeah, I hear Zell has a swimming pool, let's go check it out."  
"Um... okay, number one, we don't have swim suits with us. Number two, IT'S FUCKING DECEMBER!" Moron. Ok, it wasn't like we were freezing our asses off in the snow or anything. Balamb only had mild winters. But still, who the hell would want to go swimming in 50 degree weather? But I didn't have any better ideas, and when he pointed out that it was that or trying to get the TV from five sappy, soap-opera obsessed house wives, I decided that looking at the pool was a good idea. That's right, looking at the pool. Not actually swimming or anything, since it was fucking December. We were just going to look at the pool and envy Zell for having a stupid house and parents and a fucking pool.  
I suppose the pool would have looked sort of impressive if it weren't covered up. As it was, it just looked like a big plastic circle that took up most of the yard. The whole yard sort of centered around that pool, too. There were a few little box-shaped bushes around the yard, flat grass, and a few lawn chairs. Gods, I hate box-shaped bushes. Don't even get me started on those. Anyways, I sorta had this idea that it would be cool to have a pool somewhere in Balamb Garden. The problem with that idea was coming up with a legitimate reason for why we would need one. Maybe in case someone had to fight under water? Because swimming was a good survival skill?  
Anyways, Seifer stretched out across one of the lawn chairs like he was on the beach or something. It was really corny. Here everyone in the city was close enough to the actual ocean, and all they did was make fake little vacation resort imitations in their back yards. Next thing you know people will make postcards with pictures of their houses that say "Wish you were here!" And they'll probably put a miniature restaurant in their back yard or some crap.  
"Well, we could get a tan," Seifer suggested. He was right. We could, since there was nothing else to do in the damn yard. The only problem was, that was a stupid idea.  
"Why the hell would I want to do that?" I said. "I'll get a fucking sunburn and look stupid. Besides, I like being pale." It was true. It sort of came from being inside most of the time, but I was always quite pale to begin with. I had never once turned any darker, but one time I got a sun burn by accident and turned red. Very attractive. So I had issues with tanning and such. "Let's throw rocks in the neighbor's pool instead!" I said, picking up a decorative rock from around Zell's pool. They actually had a little ring around the pool that was filled in with phony rocks. Incredibly cheesy.  
"Why would we want to do that?"  
"To see the splash," I said, throwing one over the fence and watching it land in the neighbor's pool. I also thought it would be fun to piss off whatever candy ass lived next door. Seifer actually went along with the idea and we threw about fifty rocks into the neighbor's pool before we got bored with that.  
"Let's go to the mall," he suggested. "This is boring."  
"Wow, that's the first intelligent thing you've said all day."  
"The mall part or the boring part?"  
"The boring part." I know a lot of kids hate school because it's too rigid, but I was starting to miss the rigid schedule. I guess I'm weird. But going to the massively huge new mall in a suburb of Balamb was sort of exciting.  
  
Chapter 4 The Extreme  
  
I wanted to go to the arcade and play Dance Dance Revolution, but Seifer just wanted to shop for clothes. Yeah, I know that's sort of ironic, since normally I hated dancing. But DDR is different than going to some gay winter formal. First of all, you don't have to interact with other people. And you don't have to dress up and everyone else in the arcade is too busy with their games to watch you dancing. So I liked DDR, but didn't have the chance to play it very often. In fact, the only time I got to play any video games was when I befriended someone else who happened to have a few games in their dorm room. I had only played DDR once before; I was a very deprived sixteen-year-old...  
We spent more time arguing and walking from one end of the mall to the other than actually buying anything or playing DDR. I had never realized before that Seifer was into clothes. When I finally agreed to go clothes shopping with him, I found out that actually he wasn't really into buying clothes for himself. He just wanted to see me try on various things. I got into it after a while, since I didn't have too many clothes. In fact, the list of what I had at that point is very short; mostly my uniform, a dressier outfit, and this casual outfit that I had sort of messed up at some point. See, for a while it was really popular to wear a sweatshirt inside out and backwards, with the sleeves partially cut off, and to wear really crappy jeans. So I actually cut the sleeves off of both sweatshirts (like I said before, I didn't have too many clothes), and I purposely ripped a few holes in my jeans. Then of course that went out of style a few months later and my clothes were permanently ruined. I sort of avoided following any fads after that. I didn't really need a lot of clothes though, since I never went anywhere. All I needed was a uniform to wear every day, and stuff for lounging around my room.  
Seifer said I would be a good fashion model though. But he was sort of biased after sleeping with me, too. Anyways, he picked out clothes for me more than for himself. I tried a lot of them on, just for kicks, but didn't buy anything for a while. Everything was either too flashy or just didn't fit right. I guess my fashion sense was sort of boring: nothing too eccentric.  
"I think something darker might work..." I said, taking off the faded jeans and red top that I had just tried on. Yeah, we were watching each other change. That's what made it fun. In fact, that was my main motivation for actually shopping for clothes with him.  
"You sure? I think you look good in red..."  
"I'm only flashy around you," I said, adding to the innuendo. We went back and forth like that, flirting and making out in the changing room for a while. After having a little fun, we walked back out into the store, looking like we had just been hit by a tornado. That's when Seifer stopped picking out clothes that were too small and flashy for me (he really got a kick out of that though). He started browsing around for something that would actually look good instead. While he did that, I looked around for some erotic underwear for him. I figured that would make us laugh, and he might actually buy it. I saw this really funny thong called "Mr. Nose" or something stupid like that. I'm not going to go into too much detail. It was amazing the way the department stores were suddenly carrying pervy merchandise. Seifer suddenly walked up behind me and said, "Hey Squall, check this out!"  
He sort of shocked me and I dropped the Mr. Nose thong onto the floor, turning red. I hoped no one saw me looking at thongs like that. I turned around to see what Seifer had thought up now, expecting another really stupid selection that would be good for a few laughs. But he was actually holding a very tasteful outfit. It was all black leather, but it wasn't racy or over-the-top. The jacket was cut a little short and had a white furry collar around it. The pants were fairly plain also, just long black pants with a few straps around one of the legs for decoration. I was surprised that Seifer and finally stopped amusing himself and found something that was more my style.  
"Not bad," I said, acting casual like we weren't standing in front of the thong display. "Let's go see how it looks."  
"Ok, what do you have there?"  
"Nothing!" I said, pushing him away from the rack of "Mr. Nose" thongs.  
I rushed him into the changing room so that the other customers wouldn't see us eyeing the thong display. I told him what I was doing in the privacy of the changing room.  
"I was... sort of picking out something for you to try," I said as I was sliding off my navy blue pants.  
"Oh, were you?" he said, grinning.  
"They have this thing called 'Mr. Nose,'" I said, laughing. He laughed too.  
"Hey... I don't think I've ever heard you laugh before."  
"Well... not too many people do," I explained as I zipped up the black pants. They fit amazingly well, since Seifer had actually picked out something my size for once. Earlier he had gotten his kicks by seeing me in clothes that were way too tight. "Most people... don't get to see me do most of the stuff that you do."  
"You mean you've never gone with anyone else before?"  
"No... the situation never presented itself before. And I never... felt like this before either, I guess." I changed the subject, since I was dressed now. "There, how do I look?" I said, turning around. I had put the jacket on over the same tight white shirt that I wore under my uniform jacket and left it unzipped.  
"I dunno... it's sort of... plain, compared to the other outfits. Hey, I didn't notice that necklace earlier."  
Dummy. He had only watched me change a zillion times already that day. "That? Oh, that's Griever."  
"I like it," he said, smiling and picking it up so he could look more closely at it. "That outfit shows it off nicely, too."  
"That's because the rest of the outfit isn't metallic or anything."  
"You know what would look cool though? Remember those red sequined pants you tried on earlier with three belts?"  
Yes, that's the kinds of selections he was making. Red sequined pants with three belts. I was going to be feeling those tight pants for a while, I thought. He picked three belts because he like fastening then around me. He had fun fastening them so that they went around my hips instead of just the waist.  
"No way am I putting those on again!"  
"Not the pants, just the belts. They would look cool with that. Hold on, I'll go get them. Wait here."  
While I waited for him, I checked out how I looked in the mirror. I guess he was sort of right when he said I would make a good model; I had a very slender build and thought I looked kind of sexy in that outfit. Not an obvious sexy like tight red sequined pants or a Mr. Nose thong, but a mysterious sort of sexy. Like the mysterious guy in the dark corner of an RPG inn. The one who turns out to be a powerful warrior with a painful past... dark, brooding and sexy. I realized that I was sort of like the "romantic" heroes in those 19th century gothic novels. Maybe that's why the more quiet and withdrawn I got, the more attracted the chicks were.  
Soon Seifer returned with the belts. Boy, did he ever enjoy "helping" me put them on. He basically used it as an excuse to touch my ass, but he was sort of helpful in making them hang right. One of them actually went around my waist. Then the other two he put through only one belt loop so that they would hang down, making an X at the front and back.  
"I like it..." he said, pulling me closer, with his hands on my butt.  
"Me too..." I said, putting my arms around his neck and pressing my lips against his. Now I know all you fan girls probably want to know what it's like to kiss Seifer. But here's the truth: I can't explain it. It's too wonderful to explain. Although I have not kissed those lips for a while now, I'll never forget the way he tasted. Anyways, I closed my eyes and let him transport me to another world as my tongue moved around in his mouth. He reminded me with a smile that I had to take those clothes off to pay for them, so I asked him to help undress me. It was sort of corny, but we both liked that idea. He had strong hands, and made me feel extremely secure when he "helped" undress me, touching me all over in the process. I especially loved the way he touched my shoulders when he took my jacket off. He had his hands up near my neck, then slid them down my shoulders and arms a certain way. I can't even describe it.  
He also bought me a pair of black gloves, since it was a little cold. It was fucking December, remember? But everything else I paid for. I had quite a bit of dough saved up for emergencies and stuff.  
Anyways, after our little shopping excursion, we saw that "The Crystal Gate" was going to be playing at the mall's theatre in ten minutes. Everyone had been talking about "The Crystal Gate" lately, not because the movie was especially good but because it was so controversial. I heard it took a lot of thwacks at religion and basically had content that was a bit too risqué for a fantasy story. The novel had been an underground phenomenon for a while, but I hadn't read it yet. No reason why not, just hadn't gotten around to it yet. But this one guy in my class, AJ, he had seen the movie about ten times already. A lot of kids had seen it when the went into town for the weekends and they were ranting and raving about it, despite the objection that adults had to it. So I was sort of anxious to see what it was all about. And if it sucked, Seifer and I would just make out in the theatre.  
  
Chapter 5 The Stage is Set  
  
Seifer and I got a huge bag of popcorn and a huge drink of coke since we hadn't had any lunch yet. That's right, we actually shared one large drink since it was the most economical thing to do. It was way cheaper than getting two small drinks. There was one draw-back: climbing up to the back row without spilling anything. Now, most people don't go way over- board like we did, so they have no idea what it's like to carry snacks that look like movie props for "the Incredible Shrinking Man" up a steep flight of stairs in a dimly lit room while balancing large shopping bags in the other hand. I was carrying the over-sized cup of coke with two dinky little straws when I tripped going up stairs. I hate it when I trip going upstairs. Of course normally I just use elevators, since I'm especially prone to tripping up stairs. It's like a curse or something. So I spilled coke all down the front of my shirt even though the damn thing had a cap on it. Did I mention it was a very, very flimsy cap? So then Seifer bumped into me since he was right behind me, and the popcorn flew up into the air like confetti. Yet we still insisted on sitting way in the back so we could make out if the movie got boring. We were way up in the nose-bleed section just as the previews came on. Actually, they were commercials. What the hell is with that? They used to just show previews for other movies when you went to the theatre, then all of a sudden they starting tacking everything at the beginnings of movies- car commercials, soft drink commercials, public service announcements, you name it.  
Anyways, the movie wasn't as bad as the adults said it was, and it wasn't as great as other people said it was. I mean, it was funny as hell and didn't offend me at all, but the story was so weak that I wondered if the person who wrote the novel wrote the whole thing in a month or something. Basically, it was about a girl from the middle ages and a girl from present times who switch places. Pretty cliché. The part that made it interesting was that the main characters were all Pagans living in the Bible Belt. It was funny as hell. The girl who went into the past goes on a stereo-typed quest to find the crystal key and go through the crystal gate, which will take her home. Meanwhile, a bunch of Pagans get kicked out of school for wearing togas (it only makes sense when you see it) and they go on a road trip to Vegas. Of course they never get to Vegas since the guy who's driving isn't even from America. The best part was when they stop at a McDonalds and get into a huge food fight. That killed me. So Seifer and I didn't make love too much during the movie (just kissed a few times). It was totally stupid to climb up to the back carrying all those bags.  
After that we sort of loitered around the mall, and finally played DDR until they closed the joint. Anyways, Seifer wanted to go get a few drinks, even though we were underage. He insisted that if we went to the right place, they wouldn't ask for ID. So I told him to go ahead and pick out a bar. And he did. The gayest bar on the entire continent. Ok, I really can't talk, since what I had been doing all day could be called "gay". But I'm not gay, remember? I'm bi. Big difference. And I was also in the closet about it. Seifer, on the other hand, was proud to have a new boyfriend or something because he really wanted to be obvious about his preferences. So he dragged me along to this gay bar. It was actually called "The Spoony Bard Bar and Grill" and the sign had a cartoony picture of this guy with long blonde hair and a deep pink Renaissance outfit.  
"Um... Seifer?"  
"Yeah?"  
"I'm bi, not gay. Remember?"  
"So? I'm sure there's lots of other bi couples here. You don't want to go to a regular bar and have girls thinking were two single guys, do you?"  
"No, but I'm sort of... in the closet," I explained.  
"Geez, who are you hiding it from? It's not like you have intolerant parents or anything. Besides, we aren't surrounded by 'fundies,'" he said, referring to the movie. It referred to Fundamentalist Christians as "fundies," the derogatory term that the author used in her novel. Most of that movie was just making fun of Bible-thumping fundies.  
"I know, but... I don't want people to get the wrong idea about Garden, ya' know? I mean, people have a problem with queers being in the military and stuff, and I still have my uniform on."  
"So? Just change into the jacket you bought earlier and relax."  
"Oh... alright. I don't know about this though, I've never been in a gay bar before," I said, replacing the blue jacket with the black one.  
"It's exactly like a regular bar almost. I'll show you."  
He must have truly believed what he said, because he was completely shocked when we walked in, more so than I was. It was a fucking Edward convention! If you don't know what an Edward convention is, you are very lucky. In fact, if you don't know who Edward of Damcyan was, you are fortunate. He's the type that gives queers a bad name. He was the original spoony bard.  
Anyways, there was an Edward convention going on, and they were giving free drinks to everyone who cosplayed as Edward that night. We were the only non-Edward impersonators in there. There were Edwards everywhere. There were Edwards sitting at the counter sipping drinks. There were Edwards watching the chocobo races on TV. Worst of all, there were tons and tons of Edwards dancing to corny 70's music under a huge disco ball. It was the scariest thing I have ever seen. Yes, that was way scarier than Sorceress Ultimecia and everything else I killed later. Battles don't scare me. Disco-dancing Edwards do. And was there ever a throng of Edwards in that bar. It was a diverse crowd though. Oh yes, it was very politically correct. There were Edwards of every shape, size, color, and nationality. There were retarded Edwards, fat Edwards, skinny Edwards, tall Edwards, short Edwards, black Edwards, white Edwards, Asian Edwards, Moogle Edwards, Imp Edwards, Moomba Edwards, female Edwards, and one dyke who forgot this was Edward night and cosplayed as Faris instead. It was disturbing. You are very, very lucky if you have never seen an Edward convention before.  
I looked totally freaked, so then this midget Edward came up and said in his midgety voice, "Don't be afraid! Welcome to Edward convention '98!"  
Even the waiter who was bussing our table had on an Edward costume. I ordered beer, and they didn't card. They just asked where my Edward cosplay was.  
"Um... my dog ate it," I said. It was pretty corny. Seifer had a better excuse.  
"I'm cosplaying as Seifer instead," he said. The waiter looked at him like he was from another planet.  
"Who's Seifer?"  
"Oh, well, he isn't a legendary bard or anything. Never mind. Just give me a beer too."  
We watched the Edwards dance to a horrible 80's remix of the Damcyan nation anthem. Trust me, it sounds horrible when you take a sad sounding song and try to make it an upbeat 80's song. It looks horrible when you have about fifty Edwards dancing to it, too. Other than that, the dinner was fine. At least the other songs they played weren't as bad as that, and the food was good. I actually liked this one song that they played; it was an up-beat remix of "Eyes on Me." That's one of my favorite songs. I don't know what it is about that song, but I almost felt like I recognized it when I heard it for the first time. It was like it was written for me almost. But of course fifty dancing Edwards sort of ruined the fun of listening to the remix. A lot of people think I'm not into music. That's not true; I love listening to music, but only if it's good music. I'm not much of a critic, but very few songs instantly become favorites like "Eyes on Me." It was already old when I first heard it, but in it's day it was one of the most popular songs out there. I could see why. Seifer could tell I liked that song and asked if I wanted to dance to it.  
"I...I'm not done eating yet."  
"Come on, just this song."  
"I've never danced with another guy before though, and the Edwards are scary!"  
"I'll lead," he said, standing up and taking my hand in his. He lead me out onto the dance floor and put his arms around my waist. I rested my head on his shoulder and put my arms around his waist, and we moved around in a little circle. He felt really warm, and I sort of forgot about the Edwards. Then I realized something: dancing wasn't that bad. It was a reason to get close to someone, and actually was a lot like sex. At least with Seifer it was. I danced with him until they closed down the joint at about mid-night. We mostly just grinded and did a lot of dirty dancing. Like I said, dancing was like sex with him. My dance teacher would have freaked out completely if she saw us dancing like that. That was another class I couldn't stand: ballroom dancing. It wasn't totally pointless like English class, since I would actually need to know how to dance if I ever became an officer. But I hated that class because the girls actually fought over dancing with me. I'm talking pulling hair, wrecking the stereo in the dance studio, instructor screaming for them to shut up while I stood there emotionless. The reason they all wanted to dance with me was because I was a natural or something. The teacher would seriously not shut up about how I had such perfect form. She actually told me once that I should be a dancer. Then I reminded her that I didn't even like dancing. I wished now that she were here, just so I could see her reaction to this. She probably would have made me dance "properly" with her, right in front of all the Edwards. But at least she wouldn't be able to play that same damn waltz that she used every single class. She needed to go shopping for CDs or something.  
Actually, if any of my teachers saw the way we were acting that day, they would have freaked. Well, maybe not Quistis. She was different though; she was only a year older than me even though she acted like an adult. A lot of guys spent more time in her class looking at her boobs than actually listening to what she said. She would have been a little shocked at the way we were acting, but would have understood. But anyone else would have flipped out if they saw us acting like (God forbid) normal teenagers.  
We were totally wasted when we got back to the hotel, both from all the dancing and from all the alcohol we'd consumed. Seifer gave me a piggy- back ride back to the hotel, just 'cuz I was too drunk to walk. It was like the scene from Evangelion, but far less romantic-looking since he was also carrying the bags from our shopping trip. I'm pretty sure we had wild sex that night, since I woke up and there was all sorts of interesting "toys" on the bed. I can't remember, but Seifer said so. I was a real light-weight compared to him. I was so drunk that I didn't even care if I was expelled from Garden and that I was going to run out of money soon. I didn't think about that until a few days later. It was a surreal existence; we just lived in that hotel like a married couple or something. Nothing like that's ever happened to me since then.  
  
Chapter 6 Force Your Way  
  
The next few days weren't all that distinctive from one another. It was similar every day: Seifer thinking of creative places for us to express out love, playing Triple Triad with as many weirdoes as possible, loitering around in various areas of Balamb smoking and drinking, basically just wasting time. It seemed like the best thing to do, since it was the only way I could stop worrying about my future. At one point, I mentioned to Seifer that we should get jobs or something before we ran out of dough.  
"Squall..." he said, "how old are you?"  
"Sixteen. Why, didn't you know that?"  
"You don't act like you're freakin' sixteen! You act... like a grown up. Loosen up, man."  
"What do you mean? I'm just saying I don't want to end up being one of those bums that bothers people at the bus station for money. I mean, it's only logical to think of something."  
Seifer shrugged. "I'm sure when we need money, the opportunity will present itself. Here, have another cigarette."  
We smoked until the owner of the convenience store finally came out and told us to get lost before he called the cops. Then we moved to the store next to it and smoked another pack. It was a slow day. I think by that point we had annoyed the hell out of every store owner in Balamb. But I didn't care; I was sort of enjoying this besides that it was boring as hell. Or at least it would have been boring as hell if Seifer weren't so damn interesting. I suppose I only enjoyed standing around and smoking like that because I was talking to Seifer the whole time. He was awesome. Ok, so maybe he got us into a little too much trouble. A few store owners actually did call the cops on us when we wouldn't stop loitering around and Seifer got a bit violent when asked to move. But he was still fun as hell. And I just liked the fact that I had a boyfriend, since I had never gone out with anyone before. I was also very surprised at myself for being such a bum. I had never known my potential for being lazy before, being a Balamb Garden cadet and all. Seifer was more naturally lazy than I was though, even though he had gone through just as many etiquette classes as I had.  
So we did absolutely nothing for a few days but waste a little money here and there. Actually, we wasted a lot of money and I didn't even realize it until dinner time that night. Seifer wanted to take me out to the fanciest restaurant in town, even though that was totally incongruous with the way we'd been bumming around all day. I knew I probably smelled awful by that point from all the smoking the two of us had done, and I definitely didn't look like I belonged in a romantic restaurant. But Seifer insisted on treating me to a romantic dinner, and I didn't feel like arguing with him. I just insisted that we go back to our crappy hotel room and freshen up first.  
On the way back to the hotel we went by this jewelry store called Tifa's. I hadn't noticed it before even though I walked by it a bunch of times. I got the most random idea looking at the display in the window: I wanted to buy Seifer a gift there. I knew it was sort of foolish, since it sold the most expensive jewelry around, but I couldn't resist now that I had the idea. So I told Seifer to go ahead without me and I'd catch up in a minute. I walked in thinking about how perfect it would be to give him a present during dinner.  
It was gorgeous inside. You couldn't look anywhere in that store without seeing something shiny. I looked around quickly, waiting for something to really catch my eye. A lot of things stood out, but I didn't have nearly enough GP for most of them. Then I noticed this one counter that had less expensive items and decided to check it out. That's when I saw it; a silver ring that would be perfect for Seifer. It was understated, not as flashy and expensive as the other things in the store. Somehow, it seemed like that type of thing that either of us would wear. I didn't know his ring size, but it fit me perfectly and I assumed it would fit him too. Plus it was affordable, even though I was down to 5 GP after paying for it. I told myself not to worry; Seifer still had plenty of dough left and wouldn't let anything happen to me. I met up with him back at the hotel, feeling like I was on top of the world.  
Seifer hadn't really bothered to change to go out. He was slopping around watching TV with the same damn long coat and blue shirt he had been wearing all week.  
"I thought we were going to Quina's," I said, not quite comprehending why he hadn't changed.  
"We are. I called and made reservations a minute ago."  
"Are you gonna change?"  
"Nah. Why bother? Not like I have anything better than this."  
"Good point... guess I won't change either."  
"So are you ready to go then?"  
"Guess so, just need to do my hair and stuff." I know a lot of guys will go days without bothering to comb their hair, but I was sort of anal. Also, I grew my hair a little longer than most guys do. So I messed around for several minutes before finally leaving with him. Then I got kinda pissed because I remembered that Quina's was outside of the city, near the ocean, and that lousy excuse for a boyfriend hadn't rented us a car to get around. We had been bumming around instead. I have no clue why the hell people actually gave us rides around town, but we met some interesting people doing that to say the least. But then it turned out that Seifer hadn't planned on walking, nor had he planned on bumming our way out to Quina's. The lazy ass had actually put aside some GP for a ride. That impressed me.  
Quina's was in a really romantic location, right near the ocean, and it had been built around the turn of the century, when Balamb wasn't a huge, confusing city yet. So there was this hundred year old trolley line that went all the way out to the ocean from down town, and surprisingly enough, it was still running. So we got out to the beach pretty easily, and there was just a short walk to Quina's. But then Seifer saw something far more interesting than the most romantic, expensive restaurant in town: there was an airship coming quickly across the ocean. It looked like one from a couple of centuries ago, which was pretty cool.  
"Oh my gosh!" he yelled. "The Blackjack! Yes! We're saved!"  
"What the hell are you talking about?"  
"Remember what I said earlier about how if we needed money we would find the opportunity to get some? Well there we go! Now we can pay for dinner at Quina's."  
"What the hell are you talking about? You made reservations at a place you couldn't even pay for?"  
"Well I was planning to just walk out before they brought us the check, but this is a much better idea!"  
"Seifer, don't be a nut!" I yelled, chasing after him as he ran towards the casino airship that was landing. He kept going. I couldn't believe he actually wanted to do something as tacky as walking out of a restaurant before they even brought the bill. But if anyone could pull that off, Seifer could. People were usually too afraid of him to start anything. He just looked tough. Only a couple of times I had seen another side of him, but even in the sack he could be very rough. Someone more sensitive than me probably wouldn't have enjoyed going out with him. Anyways, I was pissed more than anything as I ran after him. If he didn't have enough to pay for dinner, he probably didn't have enough to keep the hotel room another night either. And I knew I didn't have anything after buying that ring at Tifa's. If neither of us had money left for a hotel room, then... Damn, I really regretted buying that ring. But I had no idea what to do now. We could try dropping in on Zell's mom again and stay at her house, but we had already destroyed Zell's room when we had breakfast there. And I couldn't think of anyone that I knew well enough to drop in on. Believe me, I did not want to stay the night outside, since it was fucking December and about 20 degrees at night.  
"Everything's going to work out perfectly!" he yelled.  
"Seifer, wait! We should get jobs or something!" I replied. I was getting incredibly nervous. What had I been thinking anyways, blowing my money all over the place on crap like cigarettes and trips to the mall? I shouldn't have listened to him when he told me to loosen up and act my age. He was too stupid to realize that without parents or a home or anything, I didn't have the luxury of just being a stupid teenager. In fact, I had sort of been a small adult for a long time. Just then, I realized how much I had been missing out on. I realized how I had just let my whole childhood slip away without ever enjoying it. I had the whole rest of my life to be an adult, and here I had forced myself to grow up before my time. It wasn't fair! And Seifer was right, I thought. I did need to loosen up and act my age. I was going to go right on that airship with Seifer and have fun with my last 5 GP. I wasn't going to worry about winning or getting money or anything, I was just going to have a good time. I would let Seifer be the responsible one for once. If we screwed up, I would just complain and drive him crazy until he took care of me. That's how I would survive. When I finally caught up with Seifer, who had run across the entire beach, he was already playing blackjack. And losing miserably. I decided to bet my last 5 GP on a cute little chocobo that was in a race. I know it was really stupid and childish, but I thought it would be so great if I bet on this baby chocobo and it won. The odds against it were really bad, so I figured I would win a ton if it actually came in first. Of course it lost miserably. Duh. Who would be dumb enough to bet on a baby chocobo running against five full-grown racing chocobos? But it was so damn cute. It had huge eyes and a little roundish beak. It made me want to adopt a chocobo. I would ask Seifer to buy me a baby chocobo one of these days.  
Speaking of Seifer, Seifer was now busy with the slot machines and, from the looks of it, doing pretty lousy. He was swearing like mad and attacking the machine. Since I was totally out of GP, there wasn't much to do... besides challenging random people to Triple Triad! So that's what I did. And it was a really stupid choice, because of course every one there was much better at it than I was and had probably searched the world over for rare cards that were crazy good. So of course they kicked my ass at the game and I lost most of my cards. Meanwhile, Seifer had actually knocked over a row of slot machines. I don't know how he did it. I was just playing Triple Triad with this nut in an 18th century costume, and when I looked up Seifer was yelling and punching the crap out of a slot machine. Then the one next to it got knocked over too and there was a chain reaction. Seifer kept yelling in frustration. I wasn't sure whether to try to calm him down or just pretend I didn't know him. I saw one of the guys dressed in 18th century garb walking over to him (turns out the Blackjack had an 18th century theme). But before one of the employees could throw him out, this hooker walked up to him and tried to calm him down. She was seriously the biggest slut I had ever seen. She was actually wearing fishnet stockings held up by little straps, high heels, the works. Not to mention a shitload of makeup and a horrible bleach- blonde hair-do that she hadn't cahnged since the mid-80's. She started her sweet-talk with him and he quit throwing a fit and attacking the smashed-up slot machine. She put her hands all over his chest and looked like she was about to kiss him, so I stormed over there without even finishing my Triple Triad game. I really regretted that later because that swindler took my entire deck of cards when I wasn't looking.  
"Seifer, what the hell are you doing?" I yelled as he kissed that ho.  
He rolled his eyes. "Fuck off, Squall!" he yelled. My jaw dropped. I couldn't believe he said that. "I used to go out with this girl before she was even a hooker. She's great..."  
"That doesn't change our relationship!" I yelled. So much for staying in the closet. Everyone was looking at us. "I thought... we..."  
"Oh, give it up! I'm not a one-girl or guy type of guy, alright?"  
"Oh yeah? Well I AM a one-guy type of guy! I thought we were..." I couldn't stop thinking about that damn ring I had bought for him. I thought we were serious. I thought we were soul mates. I was so sure...  
"Look, I'm trying to have a good time here!" he yelled, pulling the slut closer to him. "So just go back to your stupid game. Or do you think you're too responsible for a place like this?"  
"At least I don't have a fucking slut hanging off of me!" I screamed, holding back tears. Everyone was staring at me. The whore looked offended that I called her a fucking slut.  
"Excuse me!" she yelled. "I ain't no ho, I know this guy! I love him..." she looked into his eyes with a lusty look on her face.  
"He's MINE!"  
They both laughed at me. "Seifer, what the hell is he talking about?"  
"He's so fucking drunk even he doesn't know. If anyone here's a slut, he is!" Seifer said in a cocky tone. He made it sound like it was true, too.  
"I AM NOT!" I said loudly. Then I broke down and barely managed to say between sobs, "I... thought... you... loved me!"  
He actually laughed. He had the nerve to laugh at me and say, "Give it a rest already! You were just available and easy, that's all. Now fuck off, I'm trying to score."  
I ran up to him, kicked him so hard that he landed on the floor and ran out of the joint blinded by tears. Everyone moved out of the way to let me through. I kept running until I collapsed onto the sand somewhere on the beach, and then I cried more. Not just about the hideous break up, but about everything that had happened. Losing my clothes in the middle of school. Ms. Habecker bitching at me and giving me a month of detention. Getting expelled. Being a fucking drifter with no future. Blowing all my money on a gift for someone who never really loved me. Losing all my GP and Triple Triad cards. Having nowhere to go. When I couldn't cry anymore, I stared at the ocean, unable to think. I sort of knew that I should go over to the hotel and get my stuff before Seifer got back. But I just didn't feel like getting off my ass. I watched the sun set on the ocean. It should have been beautiful and romantic, but it wasn't. Seifer should have been next to me, with his arm around my shoulders. Never, ever again would I get close to someone I told myself. I realized that Seifer wasn't as great as I had thought he was those days we spent together. In fact, he was just a pain in the ass. And I mean that quite literally. Love was just a stupid illusion, a lie. It was a way for assholes like Seifer to carelessly break your heart. I threw rocks into the ocean forcefully, just as Seifer and I had played around near the pool before. I didn't do it to watch the splash though, I did it to take out my rage. Now that I had stopped crying, I just wanted to kill something. I didn't even watch the splashes; I was looking out into the ocean and watching the boats go by. I saw this one ship that looked like it was on fire or something, but I ignored it. I actually saw it falling apart out there in the ocean. It looked like a disaster even from where I was sitting, but I watched as emotionlessly as if it were an image on TV. The ocean looked so gorgeous that night; it was windy and there were tall, crashing waves. I was freezing my ass off, but was sort of desensitized to freezing my ass off by that point. In fact, I was down right stupid. I actually took my shoes off and put my feet in the water because, well, it felt good during the summer. I moved back just as a huge wave came crashing up and nearly went right over my head. And of course when it subsided my shoes were gone. Score one for the moron. Fortunately, the beach was completely devoid of any life besides me, so I could swear as loud as I wanted and not care what anyone thought. But as loudly as I swore, the sound was lost in the noise of the raging sea.  
  
Chapter 7 Never Look Back  
  
It really hadn't done me any good to run when that wave came; either. I ran back over to look for my shoes and of course they were still gone. It was too fucking dark to see much of anything anyways. I swore and threw more rocks into the water to take out my rage, and then a huge wave came and went right up to my knees. It was sort of fun for a second, then I couldn't think about anything besides how cold I was. I knew I should really go back to the hotel and change before I got sick or something. But I was still too lazy to walk all the way back to the hotel. I was literally out of money and figured I couldn't bum a ride back since no one would want to pick up some weirdo near the beach. I thought I probably looked like a phantom standing there all dressed in black, alone by the wild indigo water. The last of the orange light was disappearing over the horizon, and the rest of the sky was just as dark as the water. No one wanted to be on the beach at a time like this.  
The more I thought about going back to the hotel, the more worried I became. What if I got lost on the way back? It was a long damn walk back. And Seifer would probably be there with his bitch already; they could just use her car or something if they weren't gambling and drinking all night. They were the last people on earth I wanted to see right now. In fact, there was only one single person I wanted to see that night: Sis. I missed her still. I had never really gotten over the way she had left me when I was younger, and it was times like this that I wished she were still around. She was the closest thing I had to a family, and I had no idea where she was. I ached for her more than I could possibly want Seifer back. She would know how to solve my problems without getting sexual and then running off with a whore when things really got rough. She would really be there for me if she were still around...  
I was still looking mindlessly at the fantastic deep blue ocean before me as I thought about her. It was mesmerizing to watch the waves dance back and forth, powerful and fearsome and yet so beautiful. The ocean looked gorgeous even on the worst winter nights; that was what made it so amazing.  
I was lost in thought, but suddenly my mind woke up when I saw someone who looked like he was trying to swim through the ocean. No shit, swimming, in the dark, freezing water. I thought I was going to freeze just standing there. The more I thought about it, the more worried I got. What if I got sick and had nowhere to go? If I died somewhere, who would find me and be able to identify me? Even if Seifer had gotten me into this mess, he had at least kept me going these last several days, protected me with his own carelessness and gave me someone to talk to. But I never wanted to be that close to anyone again. Never. I wasn't much of a people person to begin with, but I really gave up on ever making friends again that night. I would never forget what Seifer had done.  
I'm not sure what I was thinking next. The guy swimming through the ocean was getting closer and closer, and I noticed more than before how he was about to get swallowed into the waves. Something made me react to that without even thinking. It happens a lot; I'll see someone about to die and rush into the situation wihtout thinking about myself. I ran into the water, being shocked at first by the extreme cold, then not noticing it since I was on such an adrenaline rush. There was one problem with me trying to save this guy: I was a lousy swimmer. Not only had I rarely swam in the deep end, I had never swam in any water that had waves before. So instead of rushing in there and pulling the guy out the way I had visualized a second ago, I went under with the first wave that came. It was freaky; I could hear the muted sound of the raging ocean, but nothing else. For some reason, I expected to touch the ground, but I didn't. It was like being suspended in a void. I struggled to reach the surface, and of course my heavy clothes slowed me down. When I came up, I tried to find where the guy was that I saw, but couldn't see him for a second. I tried to tread water while I looked, but that was something else that I sucked at. I started to head for the shore instead, and it seemed miles away. The more I swam towards it and fought the waves, the more frequently I went under and the farther away the beach seemed. I kept fighting, but all of a sudden I just couldn't do it. It was so tiring... I just stopped and let myself fall.  
Just in time, I felt someone grab me and swim quickly back to the shore. The next thing I knew, I was lying on the sand freezing my ass off and choking on all the water I had gotten in my mouth by accident. I felt like a total moron, rushing in there to save this guy who was obviously a better swimmer than I was. I opened my eyes, but everything was sort of hazy and dark.  
"Goddamn it! I'm gonna sue that company for all they're worth, making me swim back like that! Are you alright, Squall?"  
I couldn't reply for a second because I was still choking, but I wondered how he knew who I was. "Yeah... I'm... alright..."  
Two other people were walking toward me, I could hear their soft foot steps across the sand. "Squall!" Seifer yelled. "What happened?"  
I thought, What the hell is he doing here? I thought he was off getting laid... "I was... gonna..." I choked again. "Help this guy..."  
I heard Seifer talking again. "Cid! What are you doing here, I thought you were in Galbadia."  
"I was. I got a free ticket for this luxury cruise back and, well, I found out why it was free! Some idiot pushed the wrong button in the control room and it blew up. I'm going to sue them for every penny they've got."  
"Um... couldn't you have at least used a life jacket or something?"  
"Well sure, if I hadn't fallen off the boat when it tipped from the explosion. Anyways, what are you kids doing out late like this? Enjoying your vacation? Squall, I don't think I've ever seen you outside of school before."  
"It's not vacation," I said. "It's exam week."  
"Well then what the hell are you doing here?"  
Before I could answer, Seifer said very quickly, "Well we got expelled 'cuz there was a little scandal and we got into a fight in your office and-"  
"Hold on just a minute, how the hell could you get expelled if I wasn't there?"  
"Oh, the guy with the bad toupee threw us out," I explained. I liked where this was going. If Seifer and I just made the right moves from here, we would be back in Balamb Garden in no time.  
"That ass!" Cid exclaimed. "I'm gonna- wait, I shouldn't talk like that in front of you kids. Sorry." You wouldn't know he ran a military academy, would you? I guess Cid was one of those types that could act very professional, but then when he wasn't working he got real laid-back. "I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind! I told him he wasn't allowed to exercise absolute power or even have as much authority as me! But did he listen? No. Dammit! Remind me to get a better substitute next time."  
"Ok," Seifer said. This was awesome. Cid didn't even care why we got kicked out! He was just pissed that Mr. Pfeiffer threw us out without consulting him first. I couldn't believe it. And just a few minutes earlier I had been scared to death that I was all alone with nowhere to go.  
"Hey Seifer, if you're going to be busy for a while, I'm going back to the airship," his slut said and walked away. She was already bored with the three of us talking. I felt like yelling after her and insulting her, but it was kind of hard to talk I was so weak. I was dizzy and still lying on the sand unable to move while we were talking.  
"Anyways, I'm freezing my ass off here! Let's get to the car."  
"Woohoo! Car ride..." I said weakly. I struggled to stand up, then fell into Seifer's arms. It was really pathetic. Cid had swam much farther than I had, yet he wasn't nearly as tired out from it. I would have to ask him how he did it. Seifer almost helped me back to the car, but I pushed him away forcefully. Cheating bastard. I would have rather fainted than let him help me get to the car.  
"I left the damn thing at the train station, since I didn't know I was going to get that free ticket for a cruise. You know, it's all fun and games until someone causes an explosion..." He was pissed, and yet he still wasn't going to get mad at us for getting kicked out. It was incredible. Not only that, but he was making it incredibly easy for us to get back. Sure, it was a pain in the ass to get back to the spot where he had left his car a couple of weeks ago, but he paid for the ride back into town. That was pretty damn fortunate for me, and probably fortunate for Seifer too. I mean, he had been destroying the fucking slot machines!  
Of course Seifer and I argued over who was going to have the front seat when he finally got to the car. It was pathetically childish. We raced over to the car, and I grabbed the handle to the front door since it was still locked. Seifer tried to push me aside. I kicked him as hard as I could, but then he threw me onto the pavement. You know, that's exactly what I needed on top of everything else that was happening. Ass. I was glad I had broken up with him earlier that night, even if it was much worse for me than it was for him. I didn't land too hard at least, since I sort of caught myself. Finally Cid unlocked the doors and we rushed in, yelling for him to turn on the heat. It was absolutely pointless to ask, since he wanted to blast it himself.  
"Don't forget to stop at the hotel," I said. Even though it was embarrassing that Seifer and I had shared a crappy hotel room, there was no way I was going to leave the stuff there. My gunblade was still in there!  
"Ah, shit! That reminds me, I lost all the stuff I brought with me. Dammit!- Oh, you guys didn't hear me say that, by the way."  
"Can you turn the heat up higher?" I said, since I was still shivering. I made a mental note to avoid the ocean during the winter from now on. The heat was already on as high as it could possibly go though.  
It was pretty horrifying to have Cid walk into our hotel room with us. It was a crumby hotel to begin with, but with the two of us in there for several nights, it looked like a bomb had hit it. Our radio was on full blast even though we hadn't been there, and of course it was that loud crap that Seifer liked. There were clothes scattered from one end of the room to the other, thrown over chairs and tables. But that wasn't the part that was awful. What was really bad was the cigarrette butts, tons of empty beer cans and bottles, handcuffs around the bed posts (and a whip), whipped cream sprayed everywhere, snack foods all over the place, and of course text books that had been used as coasters for drinks. Our gunblades were lying on the bed, too. It was sort of disturbing to walk in there. Plus we had a really crappy view from there; it was a view straight into the window of another room. And at the moment there was this man in the other room putting on women's clothes. Truly messed up. Cid pretended he hadn't seen anything, especially not the handcuffs and crap (that was Seifer's idea, of course). It actually didn't take too long to pack up since we left the garbage all over the place.  
I actually fell asleep in the back of the car as we were going back. Believe me, it's not easy actually sleeping next to Seifer. The snoring wasn't too horrible, but he had a habit of moving around a lot in bed. That on top of snoring drove me nuts. So I passed out pretty quickly after staying awake watching TV most of the nights we spent together.  
I didn't regain consciousness until the next morning when I woke up in the infirmary. Seifer was sitting next to me and big phony that he was, he had brought me flowers.  
"Seifer..." I mumbled, "It's over, remember?"  
"What is?"  
"Our little... y'know. It ended as soon as I saw you with that girl. Just... go away." I still had the ring I had bought for him in my pocket. It was so cool looking that I just kept it for myself... at least until a girl who was interested in me asked to borrow it, but that's another story. That morning I made up my mind to keep it for myself, since I had no idea that a girl would come along eventually.  
"Squall, I'm sorry-"  
"Just fuck off! It's over!" I yelled and threw a pillow at him. It was really cheesy and stupid, because it missed him. But he still got mad that I yelled at him, so he walked over and slapped me as hard as he could. Damn, I have no clue why I had gone out with him. I could see why he had a bunch of short relationships that never went anywhere.  
"Fine!" he yelled. "But you'll regret this- no one rejects me!"  
"You started it!" I yelled as he was leaving. I didn't care if he was going to be a jerk and get back at me for breaking up with him. I was just glad to be single again, and even more glad to be back where I belonged. Having a boyfriend was definitely not as great as people hyped it up to be, and now that I thought about it I much preferred to be by myself. I lay back down and relaxed for a while before Quistis walked in with a stack of papers. I wondered what the hell she was doing here.  
"Hey, great to have you back," she said like she was trying to flirt with me or something. Typical. Why did she always try to act so cute and sexy around me? "I brought you the work you missed," she said, setting down the papers on a table nearby. "Not that anyone expects you to get to it right away after all that you've been through. Oh well, at least everything's back to normal." She smiled nervously, like it took a lot of nerve to talk to a guy. Phony. She could get up and do lectures in front of lots of guys every day, and here she was acting shy and nervous when she was alone with me.  
"What the hell do you mean 'back to normal'? I have a ton of work to catch up on, exams I missed, I feel like shit, my reputation is probably ruined, I still owe Ms. Habecker like thirty detentions, and I wasted all my money!"  
It really took a lot of effort for Quistis to not laugh at me when I said that. "I'm sorry..." she said, kissing me quickly. "Well, hope you get better soon. I've gotta go," she said quickly and walked out. I really didn't want to have another relationship...  
I guess things were sort of back to normal though. Maybe I had lost a boyfriend and gained a rival, and had one hell of a week, but that was all over now. And it must have been fun on some level, since it's funny when I look back on it now. "Back to normal..." I guess that would have been a good way to end this.  
  
The End 


	2. Afterword

Author's Note:  
This was a fanfic that I never actually intended to write or to finish. But I was just too inspired not to write it. So I let myself get side-tracked from finishing my novel to write this, and I actually wrote it in a few days. It's different from any yaoi I've ever read because not only does it not describe every detail of what Squall and Seifer do in bed, it also ends with a break up. I thought that that made it a lot more credible. The main challenge with this was to make a bizzarre situation like Squall getting expelled from Balamb Garden and then getting back in to sound believable. And of course the best way to do that was.... cameo appearances! Of course to catch the cameo appearances, you would have to have gone to the same two high schools that I did. It was a lot of fun for me to make fun of people I know in a fanfic though.  
Also, another one of my stories made a cameo appearance: "The Crystal Gate." That was the first novel that I ever finished and it was done for National Novel Writing Month 2002. And yes, it is as bad as this story makes it sound. I don't plan to ever publish it, nor do I even plan to get it out there on the internet. The whole thing is 333 pages hand-written because I didn't have a laptop yet, and I don't feel like typing it now since it's one of the worst things I've ever written. It's also kind of interesting that the gigantic popcorn and coke thing was based on a real expirience.  
Anywhoo, it was surprisingly easy for me to write from Squall's viewpoint. That shocked me, since I actually didn't like Squall much when I first started Final Fantasy 8. I thought he was a total asshole in fact, because I have issues with guys who don't dance. Besides that, he was a jerk to Quistis, and she's my favorite character in FF8 (which is why I had to give her an appearance in my fic). Anyways, Squall grew on me after a while. Then in one of the scenes where he was lying in bed thinking, I realized that actually Squall and I have a lot in common. It's kind of hard to go into, but I think writing this proved to me that Squall and I are a bit alike.  
I'm glad that I took the time to write this, because otherwise I would still keep asking myself, what if Squall got kicked out of school... what would an Edward convention look like... what if Squall had dated Seifer, just like Rinoa had... where did Squall get his ring from... LOL, I think this is the only fic that actually discusses where an RPG character got his clothes from. That was one of my favorite scenes in this. So I hope no one flames me for not bashing every female character in the game and making Squall end up with Seifer permanently and all that. I'm sick of really contrived yaois that aren't even believable, and that was one motivation for writing this fic. 


End file.
